If you know me very well at all, you know that speed has never been a strength of mine. I’m pretty sure the last time I ran a mile in under 9 minutes, I was maybe 11 years old. However, I would say I have a pretty fast-paced lifestyle. Between work, my social life, my faith, traveling and staying active, I don’t have a great deal of down time. And for the most part I like it that way. Very few times in my life have I ever considered it unhealthy.
There are things though that God just decides needs to change. And for me, this looks like it’s one of those things that is about to see a big change. Last Thursday evening, you could find me where my friends and I typically are on Thursday evenings; the local indoor soccer complex. Some of the people I work with (also some of my best friends) have been playing indoor soccer for about two years now. It’s a great workout and of course being the competitor I am, I greatly enjoy it (especially since our team is pretty good). Minus a few bruises and twisted ankles, I’ve never really struggled with injuries in sports, and that’s after playing sports pretty competitively for about 15 years. But, that all changed on Thursday.
I went to plant with my left foot and cut to the right, and immediately I heard and felt a pop in my knee. Of course, I went down to the ground immediately in agonizing pain. After a few minutes I was able to get up and walk off the field under my own power. And to be honest, I didn’t think much of it that night. I just assumed it was a sprain and would heal in a few days. But the next day the pain increased along with the swelling. And any time I went to put any pressure on my left leg, it just felt like it was going to give out. So, on Saturday, I decided that I needed to get it checked out. I found an orthopedic urgent care and got in quickly to see the doctor. After an array of flexibility tests, X-Rays (which cam back negative), and fluid being drawn, the doctor gave me her best guess at a prognosis. Torn ACL. Now again, just a guess. It’s totally inconclusive until I can have an MRI. But she thinks ACL. I was told, I can’t run, jump, cut, turn quickly, and can be very little pressure on it at all. Immediately I was overwhelmed with a since of frustration and anger.
So now, I have to slow down. I physically cannot go very fast at all. Most small children would now dominate me in a footrace, and they can hardly run in straight lines. I’m trying to seek God in all this. I really am, but it’s difficult. Every part of me wants to keep going at the speed my life was at, but I physically cannot. And now I just have to wait; wait for the MRI (scheduled for next Wednesday), and wait for the results (the following week). I’ve always struggled with patience. And God knows that. I truly do believe that this may very well be God asking me to slow down so that I can give Him my complete attention. Sometimes when life moves as fast as it does, I lose focus. Now I don’t have a choice. It has to slow down. So my goal through this, is to focus my eyes on Jesus.
Truthfully, I find it difficult not to just sulk in my bitterness and frustration. But I know I’ve been called to more than that. I’ve been called to choose joy, even when it’s tough, and even when I may not want to. And my natural inclination in this situation is to ask, “Why?” But of course, as most followers of Jesus know, the question of “Why,” may never be answered. And I have to be okay with that. I just know that God is up to something, and clearly I need to pay attention. So I’ve got to slow down.
As a reader of this, I’d ask for your prayers for a few things:
- Pray for the pain in my leg to subside.
- Pray for my heart, that I am able to continue to be joyful, even when I may not want to find that joy.
- Pray for my focus, that I would listen to God in this time, and simply slow down.
- Pray for healing. Hopefully the doctor was wrong and my ACL is okay. I’ll find out in just a few weeks.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. Have a great day.
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