The Me I Want to Be

This past month, our small group curriculum for our High Schoolers here at Hope CC has been based around this idea of “The Me I Want To Be.”  We discuss the different “Fake Me’s” that we are and then we talk about the Me God wants us to be.  So that made me think about myself in this context.  It also made me think about the different Me’s that I was throughout my life, and the different Me’s that I wanted to be.  So it kind of gave me this idea.  What if I wrote a brief letter to younger Me’s at different stages of my life?  What would I tell myself about my own identity, you know, looking back on it now? So here I go… Letters to younger me.

Dear Three Year Old Me,

Okay kid, I know that right now that being a train conductor seems like a good idea, but I promise you, it is not going to be as cool as you think it will.  Despite what you think and see, Thomas the Tank Engine is unfortunately not real.  Hate to burst your bubble on that, it hurts when you find out, believe me, I ‘ve been there.  So there are no talking trains, and in 20 years, people in this country don’t really travel by train as often as you’d think they do.  But keep on being an awesome little kid, and keep drinking that chocolate milk.

Sincerely, Twenty Two Year Old Me.

Dear Six Year Old Me,

Your baseball glory days are still ahead of you, but you will hit your peak around thirteen, so don’t get too excited.  MLB is not in your future, but don’t worry, eventually you’ll find out most of those guys are cheating anyways.  Just remember, Hank Aaron is ALWAYS the true home run king.  Go Braves!  Also, I know you don’t really understand yet, but Jesus has some amazing things for you, now that you have accepted Him.

Sincerely, Twenty Two Year Old Me.

Dear Twelve Year Old Me

You are just now starting to realize that there are girls around you and they are very pretty, right?  Yeah, believe me, you’ll continue to notice them.  That won’t change.  Right now though, you don’t even know who you are and where you are going in life. You won’t be able to please everyone and be friends with everyone.  You have to begin to find your OWN identity, not get it from other people.  But you are about to have the experience of a lifetime, very soon.  God is about to open your eyes to a totally different world, it’s called Hollywood.  Don’t let it consume you.  It’s a scary place.  Keep on listening to God though, and He will get you through it.  I promise.

Sincerely, Twenty Two Year Old Me.

Dear Sixteen Year Old Me,

See? I wasn’t kidding.  Your last four years were pretty crazy right?  And you went through a few stages.  You wanted to be a famous movie star and change Hollywood.  But that didn’t happen and you realized you missed high school.  Then you realized you wanted to be a sports broadcaster.  But you realized that may not be it either for you, because you don’t really like doing research (In high school, huh, who would’ve thunk it?).  You also need to realize that sometimes you kind of act like own the world, and there is a difference between confidence and arrogance.  Learn it.  You’ve still got to grow up so much.  But dude, I promise you, the next stage you are about to hit, will change your life.  Keep on listening to God and following Him.  He is shaping you into want He wants you to be.  You are getting closer.

Sincerely, Twenty Two Year Old Me.

Dear Eighteen Year Old Me,

You have now experienced what true community is.  Pretty awesome, right?  Hang on to those guys, they will probably be in your wedding one day, and you will be in theirs.  In the last few years, you first encountered God, unlike you ever have before.  You fell flat on your face in awe of Jesus.  You have finally really begun to take that idea of what your identity should be and you are running with it.  Now you are ready to go out and serve.  That is coming soon.  It will blow you away.  You are moving in the right direction, becoming the me God wants you to be.  You’ve realize it isn’t about what you want.  Good thinking.

Sincerely, Twenty Two Year Old Me.

Dear Twenty One Year Old Me,

BigStuf and the Daraja Choir all in six months?  Yeah that was fun.  Serving can be quite the adventure huh?  Trips to Kenya and Haiti.  You are getting it.  The Great Commission.  You really are going into the world.  That is good, but you still have growing to do.  Your life is about a year and a half away from changing significantly again.  Also, stop getting so consumed in getting married, you have time man.  You really do.  And it definitely won’t be Taylor Swift.  Even though some of your friends are falling in love and getting married, you just need to keep your focus on Jesus.  Soon enough, my friend, soon enough it will be your turn.  Meanwhile,  keep seeking His will.  Are you sure you want to work in Sports Management?

Sincerely, Twenty Two Year Old Me.

Dear Twenty Two Year Old Me,

Well here you are.  In Raleigh, NC, with a full-time job in ministry.  Didn’t see that one coming, did you?  You need to do several things.  1) Be present.  This is where God has you, for a reason, be here, and give it your all.  That being said, don’t abandon Atlanta and your relationships there, but be present here in Raleigh.  2) Now do you see why God had all those things happen to you?  Do you understand why you had the experiences you did when you were younger.  That was preparation for this.  And 3) This is preparation for something else.  Don’t think that because God led you here, that this is where you end up.  Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t but regardless, you still have growing to go and He is preparing you for something more.  But you are realizing that the me God wants you to be is His.  That’s it.  It’s quite simple.  You got so tied up and worried in the past about what your life was going to be like, when really, God had you from square one.  The me you are now, is the happiest me you have ever been.  It is the most natural me you have ever been.  Its because you are that much closer to the me God wants you to be.

Sincerely, Twenty Two Year Old Me.